Alliteration

A superb Sunday in the Summer starts by sharing a Slurpee with my son on a shaky subway.

I like We

Before I was a We, I was Me.

I was smart.  I was fun.  I liked adventures.  I always had a smile.  I, as Me, was awesome!

After some time I met another, and I became We.  We were smarter than Me because two is better than one.  Two quickly became three, and We had a lot of fun.  We had many adventures.  We had many reasons to smile.

Now I am Me again; this does not make Me sad.  A part of We will always be with Me.  We brought Me to where I am right now, and I like Me.

When the time is right, I will meet another soul to share my life with, and until I am a We again, I will be the most awesome Me that I can possibly be.

He Likes It!

It feels great to not hear the little one complain about this dinner; he even ate the broccoli.

So Cool

Not only does he play the guitar, he wears his shades inside.

This kid has moves I can only dream of.

Changes

In the next few weeks, there will be a few major changes in my life.  Gabriel's mom, my spouse for the last four years, is moving out of our apartment, and we will start the divorce process.  Big news.  Sad news.  You may be asking at this point why I am choosing to blog about this in a public forum, and the answer is simple: writing not only helps me understand my own feelings, but this method also allows me to share my thoughts and wishes with many friends and family in a simple way.

For those that know us, you understand that we do not live in Camelot, nor have we ever pretended to be anything other than we were.  We, like so many other couples, have had our ups and downs.  This is not a sudden choice based off of a single act but the realization of what is best for our son and each other.  I want Gabe's mom to be happy-- period.  We will continue to be friends and parents to our precocious child.  I will forever be grateful to her for showing me the Academic world in which I excel and for bringing our son into the world, who makes me smile every day.

You may have noticed that I refer to my spouse as Gabe's mom.  This is intentional; I don't want to use the term "Ex-wife" in describing my future relationship with her.  She is the mother of my son, and he loves her.  It is important that he sees a high level respect from me, and I feel that overusing the term "Ex" dehumanizes the individual and leads to cutting comments and bad gossip.  My son deserves better, and I want him to be nurtured in an environment free of aggression towards his parents.

For those wanting to reach out, I am offering a list of ways to ease this change for all of us.

Don't say "I told you so."  Really.  Not only is a statement like that distasteful in the first place, it is not the kind of energy that I want to be around or associate with.  We all need to heal, and I ask for respect and love instead of spite and nay-saying.  Positive thoughts and words will foster a healthier stage for all of us to deal with this major change.

Don't add any fuel to the fire.  Don't ask for any specific details about my marriage from me or offer any gossip.  It will not make me feel better, and I do not want to expose my shortcomings as entertainment. (See the previous paragraph about positive loving energy)

Don't point fingers or ask someone else to.  Marriage, as with everything in life, is complicated.  I wish there was a simple answer to explain it all to me, but there isn't.  Rather than dwell on what went wrong in my relationship, I want to grow into a better person.  The "blame game" is not productive and only leads to bitterness.  Don't enable me to become stuck in a rut.  I need to move on.

Call me.  I know that I am horrible at answering my phone, and I will work on that.  I haven't had any happy news for some time, and I felt that no one would want to listen to me, but I want to be a friend again.

Forgive me for hiding for so long.  I have been a bad friend.  I am sorry.  Give me another shot at friendship.  I miss you, and I could use your friendship again right now. (This applies to many, many people)

Message me.  I am great at returning emails, and I am somewhat proficient at returning facebook messages.  Keep in touch and let me know about happy things in your life.  Sharing your happiness with me makes me smile, and I like to smile.  Please don't hesitate in shining your sun in my direction.

Love my son.  This is the most important thing that you can do.  If you live near us, and you see him, give him a big hug and tell him what a wonderful child he is.  If you live farther away, keep him in your thoughts/prayers/meditations.  He will be the one to experience the most change, and while I know that he is excited to have two homes, I worry about him.  I want him to have the best in life.  I feel like I have failed him with this change, but I know that he is better off having parents who are friends rather than having parents that cannot talk to each other from years of fighting.  He is a beautiful child, deserving of the purest love you can give.

Respect his mother.  I do not want Gabe to be torn apart in the middle of this divorce.  If you cannot be kind and respectful of his mom, then you do not need to be a part of his life or mine.

Find me a couple roommates!  I will have a three bedroom apartment in Manhattan that will soon have two empty rooms.  The rooms are cheaply priced, so that I can get the right people to live with me.  If you are going to Columbia or just want to live in Morningside Heights, message me and we will talk. I want to make some new friends and get involved in my own life again, so help me create an awesome apartment.

Buy me a motorcycle.  This is a long shot, but if you are sitting on some extra money and can't think of how to be supportive, I want to get back on a bike soon!  

I am not expecting the next few moths to be easy, but I am full of hope in starting this new chapter of my life and excited about the diverse possibilities.  Although this is not the reality that I had dreamed about, I know that we are taking the right steps to a happier life for all three of us.

Scoot Scoot

We are learning to be nicer to the other kids at the playpark.  When I say we, I really mean me.  Little Man is happy to walk in circles and wave at everyone, but I don't have the patience for mean older kids.  Rather than stare the bullies down until they hide in a corner, I walked up to them with Little Man and assured him that he could play with the unoccupied toys no matter what the older kids said.  I may not be able to fix other kids, but I will try my best to give my son the confidence to not be upset by their antics.  

Fire Engine

The kind firemen next door let Little Man climb behind the wheel this evening and take the engine for a spin.

What a lucky boy!

Adventure in Central Park

Yesterday Little Man and I went to Central Park to find a new playground, and we found a great one.  Hecksher Playground is close to Columbus Circle, and it is heaven for a young climber.  With castle walls to climb and bridges to run over, we had a party.  We will go back on a warmer day because they even have a water feature that looks even more fun.

Gabe, in true form, made many friends.  One young girl followed him everywhere and yelled at any other kid who got too close to him.  This park was filled with young men practicing their parkour moves, and some of them were actually pretty good.  When they walked by, Gabriel said hello and waved while other kids run away from the teens.  I don't know how he does it, but people just gravitate to him.  I feel blessed to be his dad and spend time with him everyday.