The first surprise that hit me once I received the official cancer diagnosis was the complete lack of order in the healthcare system.
I had thought that cancer was just like any other illness where you go to a doctor, and they tell you how to get better, but it isn't. When I had surgeries in the past for a hernia then gallbladder, it was a relativity simple fix. See the doctor. Doctor sees the problem. Doctor fixes the problem. Insurance pays the doctor. I become healthy. This translates to: "Oh, you have cancer. Let me give you a shot. Go home; you are all better."
However cancer is H-N-L! "Hole-'Nothah-Level" There are a lot of doctors. In fact, in the beginning there were so many doctors that I would just drop my pants when anyone in a white coat walked past me. I knew they wanted a feel no matter how many times I told them there was a lump on my testicle. Some doctors were nice, and I thanked them for their gentle touch. There were some that were not so nice and I limped away with little pride and a lot of pain.
While there were many doctors in the beginning, I am now in a phase where there are very few. As the doctors specialize into various fields, they become fewer and fewer, and just when I thought I found a good one, the mighty insurance company stepped in for a conversation. They take a perfect doctor and turn him into one that I might not be able to use. There are not many Urological Oncologists floating around, and I will hold on to hope that this will all work out.
I suppose this is what all those commercials on TV were talking about when they mention "Coordinated Care." But I am tired of this business crap; I just want my life--a healthy, cancer-free life.
This season of sickness has brought around some really good events: great people have reached out to me to express care and concern. People that I know and admire have walked down this same path, and they prove to me that it does get better on the other side. I have an amazing wife. She is constantly caring and loving this grumpy fool as I attempt to navigate this mess. I am blessed with a son (currently nestled by my side) who inspires me to study harder, dig deeper, and play longer.
I don't even know where to start when it comes to the life lessons I have learned these last few months, but I am very glad to have them. I am grateful for the pain as it gives me focus; I am grateful for the fear as it gives me hope, and I am grateful for life as it gives me joy.
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| I love this journey, and I couldn't do it without them. |
