It has been my intention to write a blog about how busy I had been, but I was too busy to write it. During this time of "busy-ness," I came to the realization that everyone is busy, and I wasn't that special for juggling a child, an education, a job, and a dismal social life. As I thought more about what I felt underneath the tired, stressed, and lonely feelings, I found something spectacular--a feeling of fulfillment!
While I had initially focused my attention on the tasks that needed to be completed and my time management, I had missed the changes that were going on inside of me. Over the last several weeks I had the chance to stretch every part of myself, and I like it. Rather than complain about the loss of personal time, I will be grateful for this chance to grow.
During the day I am an employee. I work hard to pay the rent, buy the groceries, and pay Alma Mater her tuition. I finish my job each day with a sore body and sweaty clothes, but I also finish each day knowing that I made an honest dollar. Having spent a lot of time recently as unemployed, I will happily pursue my vocation.
In the evening I am a student. Monday through Thursday I spend two hours a night in class learning French. I spend my lunch break writing flashcards. I study before class as I change into clean clothes, and I study after class as I get into bed. Columbia has high expectations of their foreign language learners, and I hope to make the cut.
Every second that I breathe, I am a father. I think about my little boy when I wake up and wonder what new things he will learn. My heart smiles when I hear his voice on the phone or at the end of my hallway, and while I miss him when he is gone, I love that he is making new friends. My favorite part of the day is listening to him while he rambles on about the people he saw and what car he rode in.
My body is tired, my mind if sore, and my heart is full.
I am not busy, I am blessed.
I am not failing, I am fulfilled.