Friday, April 06, 2012
It's tough to be so cool!
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Thanks for being a great son!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Because I'm cool like that
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Happy Heart
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Half a Man
Now that I have that out of the way, I will tell you what I have been up to. First, and most important, I got married! It turns out that the cute lady I proposed to was serious about marrying me, and we done got hitched. There was even a small blurb about us in an online article; it was pretty cool. Some of her family came to town, and some of my family came to town. It was small, and I loved every second of it because Kim is a fantastic woman. I would like to say that we had a wild honeymoon, and I suppose in a way we did, but two days after tying the knot, I had a radical orchiectomy. In layman's terms, I had a testicle removed.
It hurt.
A lot.
It has been two weeks since the surgery, and I am still walking with a small limp. The pathology reports came back, and I have Stage 1 Testicular Cancer. I met with my oncologist today, and he recommends that I have a lymph node dissection. This is needed to verify that the cancer has not spread beyond the testicle and to eliminate future threats of a return. Depending on the results of that surgery and subsequent biopsy of the lymph nodes, the chemotherapy treatment will begin. If the cancer has spread to Stage 2, there will be a more aggressive form of chemotherapy. My doctor said that I could have the option of doing the treatment at Sloan-Kettering or the hospital right across the street. This is something worth doing, but it will be hard to give up the easy commute of walking across the street for treatment.
I don't know when this will begin. Little Man has a birthday next week, and I want to play with him on that awesome day. I also need to bank some sperm. This might be Too Much Information for some of you, but I don't care; I like saying it. I think it is funny--banking sperm. After all the adolescent jokes I made about sperm banks, I now get to go to one!
On a more reflective note, I have had some small emotional struggles with my recent surgery. While I have never felt my identity was directly connected to my genitals, having a testicle removed has made me reflect on what it means for me to "be a man." As much of my study in Religion deals with gender roles and sexuality, I feel that I keep an objective view of gender performance, but losing an essential part of my "manhood" has allowed me to understand the world found outside of the traditional heteronormative society a little bit better.
I decided to not withdraw from school for the semester. My professors are amazing people that will work with me if I start to fall behind, but I do not plan on letting that happen. I love college, especially Columbia. It is a kick-ass school, and my peers inspire me.
Despite the upcoming difficulties, I consider myself blessed. I have a beautiful wife who has not complained about the many extra chores she has picked up in my sickness, who never tires of showing love, who is always ready to give kisses and hugs, and who has enriched my life with more happiness than I have ever known. I have a wonderful son whose infectious energy and excitement allows me to see my world as a giant playground. I have a relationship with a Power greater than my own that grounds me to a truth of love, compassion, and hope.
Friday, February 24, 2012
The Power of Chocolate
btw- he finished his entire glass--I am a proud father.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Challenge Accepted
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it.
And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it?
Come up with a smiling face.
It’s nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there – that’s disgrace.
The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce;
Be proud of your blackened eye!
It isn’t the fact that you’re licked that counts;
It’s how did you fight and why?
If you battled the best you could;
If you played your part in the world of men,
Why the Critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce,
And whether he’s slow or spry,
It isn’t that fact that you’re dead that counts,
But only how did you die?
Saturday, February 04, 2012
Toby
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Boys
Saturday, December 17, 2011
It's Getting Closer!
I know that this picture is blurry, but I still love it. I was a little reluctant to go to Rockefeller center last night as there are constantly large crowds this time of year, but I wanted to show Little Man the big tree, and seeing his excitement made the trip worth it. The tree is up, the stockings are hung, the music of the season is always playing, and there is a lot of love in our little apartment.
Friday, December 16, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Friday, December 09, 2011
The Sufi Path
Thursday, December 01, 2011
The Project
Saturday, November 19, 2011
To Infinity and Beyond!
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Halloween!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
As if writing wasn't hard enough...
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Fun Times
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Time to Wrestle
I think that we are going to wrestle this afternoon when he comes home. He gets plenty of hugs and kisses from everyone in his life, so we don't wrestle as a substitute for affection.
We wrestle because it is fun, and I miss my boy!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Bad Mormon
The funny thing about this realization is that it doesn't upset me. In fact, I am quite proud of it. This doesn't mean that I do not care about my religion or appreciate the sacred, but it does mean that I am not going to fit into any standard mold that Mormonism has to offer.
I:
have long hair.
like tattoos.
watch R rated movies.
occasionally drink caffeine.
use profanities.
yell at people.
tell dirty jokes.
like gossip.
overeat.
laugh at inappropriate times.
challenge authority.
question the authority of those in authority.
forget to pray sometimes.
strongly believe in equal rights.
don't think humility is the same thing as self-abasement.
don't believe in Hell.
believe there is a fine line between spirituality and schizophrenia
hate wearing white shirts.
buy food on Sunday.
You won't see me on a billboard, holding a hawk in a commercial, or anywhere inside of a church magazine. But you will find me helping a friend move furniture, giving money to the homeless without any dramatic refusal of how "I give to my church," working with the youth Sunday School class as they each travel on their own spiritual paths, teaching my son respect for the Earth and all her inhabitants, smiling at a stranger, standing up for the underdog, and listening to anyone who just wants to be heard.
I may be a bad Mormon, but I am an awesome human, and that is all that matters to me!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Free Book!
Now the book vendor is giving my kid free stuff. Little Man chose Bert and Erie; that's what I would have picked too.
Breakfast!
I didn't feel like cooking this morning, so we decided to try a new diner near the bagel shop. We will come back to this place!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
A Few Thoughts About Utah
While it is nice to be home in NYC, there are many things that I will miss in Salt Lake. I loved watching my son become friends with his cousins. Everyday he would beg for us to return to my sister's house, so he could run outside with her kids. He quickly learned how cool it is to have a giant yard to play in and friends to share it with. He also made friends with the children of my friends. I just sat back and watch them interact, amazed that the bonds of friendship have encompassed the next generation, and I envisioned the many camping trips and vacations spent together in the future when these same children will be the ones causing the trouble and I would have to be the adult.
Del Taco. Certainly New York is known for its restaurants, but I am not a fan of paying large sums of money for a meal. A late night run for some nachos and tacos for under ten dollars makes for a very happy Archie. Another thing that made me very happy was the complete lack of humidity. The Summer sun in Utah is relentless, but the lack of humidity keeps everyone dry and smelling nice. Don't forget about the Summer nights when the sun disappears and the cool breezes provide the perfect environment for evening conversations about life, love, and nachos.
However, there were some experiences in Utah I would prefer to forget. Why is everyone in such a hurry on the freeway? The roads are huge, and the lanes are wide, but most drivers still felt it was important to swerve in and out of traffic while speeding to get to their destination. I know that a number of years ago I was one of those drivers, but now I pause and wonder what I was thinking. What was so important that I was willing to risk the safety of everyone around me, so that I would not be late? I can't remember, but I do know that after a couple of years enduring New York traffic, I am happy traveling at any speed over 30 mph.
Downtown Salt Lake is ugly. I know that many were concerned about revenue and property values around the decaying malls, but knocking down the familiar to build the homogeneous was a very bad idea. It is kind of ironic in a way that the citizens (read LDS Church) in favor of the changes forgot the concept of people returning to the familiar. The malls might have been old and losing stores, but at least people knew the terrain, the fountains, and even the food court. Eventually the shoppers would have returned, but now it feels like walking down the Vegas strip with new buildings that lack any sense of personality.
Another ironic twist to my visit occurred when I saw a number of billboards advertising "food storage" sales. One of the principles behind provident living is for people to manage themselves, not to pay anther company to manage things for them. Paying a company thousands of dollars to stock your basement with six months of food rations and water is like paying an actor to go to church for you--pointless. There may be food on your shelf, and there may be a seat in the pew, but both actions miss the mark.
I got tired of driving, and one must drive a lot to get around town. I have grown accustomed to the subways and buses of New York. Public transit is awesome, but I don't think it will be catching on anytime soon in Utah where urban sprawl is rampant. I may live in a pigeon coop here in the city, but I am pretty confident that I am living a "greener" lifestyle here in this metropolis than most people in Salt Lake.
All in all, I am a little jealous of my family and friends in Utah. They have beautiful scenery, great weather, cheap food, and little traffic. I know that I will be back for many visits and many Summer nights, and there may come a day where I will call Utah home. For now, I am happy to be back in my city where I am blessed to have a job, attend an amazing school, parent a precocious child, and build a very bright future--a very bright future indeed. Of course that is another blog post for another day.
Monday, September 05, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
New Friends
There is something great about seeing the boy bond with his new "brothers." I suppose friendships can carry on to the next generation.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Because Rumi is Just So Freaking Awesome!
--Translation by Franklin Lewis
Friday, August 12, 2011
My Summer Vacation
Summer continued, and so did my semester. The second six week course consisted of Elementary French Level 2. I thought that this would be a proverbial walk in the park; I was wrong. Meeting four nights a week for two hours each evening, I quickly discovered that I was in over my head. While we had many fun and engaging moments of teasing the professor about French culture, we had many more moments of looking at each other in total confusion. I made some great friends (which is what I love about my school; just about everyone is awesome!) and I learned a little French, but I am very glad that the class is now over.
I suppose my Summer vacation starts now. I have one week left of work, and then the boy and I are heading to Utah to visit with family, and I am most excited for this trip. I have a lot of plans. I want to see my grandparents and listen to their stories. I want to see my niece and nephews and chase them around the yard. I want to eat at Cancun Cafe with my mom. I want to see the many friends that have been so supportive of me. I want to spend a lot of time with a certain girl.
Yes, a lot of time.
You see, I am completely twitterpated and captivated by a really cute girl.
So as I count down these last few days until I can have a real vacation, I am grateful for new friends, old friends, family, food, and new love. Life continues to smile upon me, and I love it!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I Will For You
but I will for you.
I am not very good at opening my heart and sharing my feelings,
but I will for you.
I have never liked sharing my most delicious cheese dip with other people,
but I will for you.
I don't like leaning on other people for support and strength,
but I will for you.
I never thought that I would let my guard down and let someone get close to me,
but I will for you.
I didn't want to travel down this path again,
but I will
for you.
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Something Special
It was a special something from someone special.
And now I am especially happy.
The End
Friday, July 22, 2011
Another Adventure
I knew that it was going to be a hot Friday here in the city, so the boy and I left early to spend the morning at Coney Island. We had a blast! Between playing in the ocean (actually he only got his feet wet) and having a great lunch at Nathan's, it was a great morning, and we made it home to turn on the air conditioning right before it hit 100 degrees.
We must go back before the Summer is over because there is much more to see and do.
Monday, July 18, 2011
A Lesson Learned
You know you who are, but you do not know how much you have helped.
Thank you.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Oh Thank Heaven
We explored the northern realms of Central Park today. We saw cool arches, a waterfall, cool playgrounds, and hidden streams. After our adventure, we stopped in at 7-11 for a Summer treat of nachos and a slurpee.
We are living the high life!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Fulfilled
While I had initially focused my attention on the tasks that needed to be completed and my time management, I had missed the changes that were going on inside of me. Over the last several weeks I had the chance to stretch every part of myself, and I like it. Rather than complain about the loss of personal time, I will be grateful for this chance to grow.
During the day I am an employee. I work hard to pay the rent, buy the groceries, and pay Alma Mater her tuition. I finish my job each day with a sore body and sweaty clothes, but I also finish each day knowing that I made an honest dollar. Having spent a lot of time recently as unemployed, I will happily pursue my vocation.
In the evening I am a student. Monday through Thursday I spend two hours a night in class learning French. I spend my lunch break writing flashcards. I study before class as I change into clean clothes, and I study after class as I get into bed. Columbia has high expectations of their foreign language learners, and I hope to make the cut.
Every second that I breathe, I am a father. I think about my little boy when I wake up and wonder what new things he will learn. My heart smiles when I hear his voice on the phone or at the end of my hallway, and while I miss him when he is gone, I love that he is making new friends. My favorite part of the day is listening to him while he rambles on about the people he saw and what car he rode in.
My body is tired, my mind if sore, and my heart is full.
I am not busy, I am blessed.
I am not failing, I am fulfilled.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Lunchtime!
Friday, July 01, 2011
Fifteen Dollars Worth of Fun
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
The Steps
Cool people hang on out the steps of Low Library; awesome people hang out on the steps of Low Library with us!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Something Simple
Saturday, June 18, 2011
"Just when I thought I was out..."
I liked it. It wasn't too hard, and I enjoyed working with my customers. I found satisfaction in helping people get rid of their bug problems and sharing my "bug knowledge." I worked as a technician, manager, owner, and salesman with various companies in various states.
Eventually I wanted to try something new. I was tired of the office politics found in large companies. I was tired of wearing a degrading uniform. I was tired of not being fulfilled in my career. Although I considered being a technician honest work, there were many people who felt I was at the bottom of the social order. Through condescending words, humiliating tasks, and repeated threats, I was constantly reminded of my status. After working nine years as an "exterminator" (I really hate that term) I decided to finish my formal education and start a new path.
I excel in academia. I love attending class, writing papers, learning new thoughts and perspectives, meeting intelligent peers who challenge me in many ways to become a better student. After my acceptance to Columbia, I felt certain that I was a new man and that my technician days were just a stepping stone on the path of life.
But then I needed a job. I searched for seven months to find something, anything, that wasn't pest control. Nothing was offered. With a resume that showed close to eleven years of killing bugs, companies saw me as nothing more than the bug guy. It was not easy looking for a job and explaining to potential employers that I intended to attend school full-time until I graduated. I saw their faces change as they read my resume and came across my history. I needed a job that would value my vast experience, be close to school, allow me to finish my degree, provide health insurance, and still give me the time to be a dad. This was my prayer. This was my intention that I gave to the Universe.
In an attempt to broaden my networking, I talked to my building superintendent last week to see if she knew of any job opportunities within Columbia that I could apply to. She didn't, but she did make another call. She called the pest control company that has the contract for all off-campus University Housing in my neighborhood. They were interested, and I hesitantly sent them my resume because I wasn't too sure that I wanted back into the pest control world. Something amazing happened. Not only were they interested in me, but I was offered a job without a formal interview and started work a few days later based on my experience that they valued. As they have a large contract with Columbia, I am one of four men working full-time here in my neighborhood. They provide health insurance even if I do not work a 40 hour week, and they will schedule all of my work around my classes. I can walk to work, kill some bugs, walk to class, walk back to work, and then walk home at the end of my day to spend time with my boy. They have been great to me. They plan to use me for the "high profile" calls that they get which means that I will get to know some very important members of the Columbia community. With a little luck, I might get a couple of great letters of recommendation for graduate school from some influential people because of this job.
Despite my initial indifference to a life that I thought I had left behind, I was blessed to find a connection that allows me to be a full-time dad and a full-time student. I am grateful for this opportunity. I know that it will not be easy, but I never liked taking the easy road.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Lucky Boy
People love to give cool things to my son. This morning on our way to the bus stop, we saw the vendor who sells us chicken gyros, and he stopped to buy little man some candy at the newspaper stand. Someone was very happy to get free candy.
I wonder if I can get someone to pay for his college too...


































